Patrick Lencioni writes a book called “Getting Naked” (©2010 Jossey-Bass). The premise of the book is that leaders are starving for honesty in business, honesty in relationships and honesty within your organization. The title “Getting Naked” is the idea that we need to be vulnerable and show who we really are.
In the book, Lencioni shares 3 core fears that leaders have:
#1) The Fear of Losing the Business
We are so worried about losing a client or we’re afraid the organization won’t last so we don’t do anything. We don’t take risks, we simply live in fear.
#2) The Fear of Being Embarrassed
We don’t want to look bad in front of others, we don’t want to make a mistake so we’re cautious in our ideas and we’re afraid to say “I don’t know how to do that!”
#3) The Fear of Feeling Inferior
This too is rooted in ego, but in this we are afraid of losing our status or our place in society. We don’t want to move backwards. We don’t want to “not feel” important.
When you are involved in a Coaching Group, you need to realize that people come together with some of these same fears. That fear will keep them from being honest, it will keep them from engaging with one another, and it will keep them from taking the conversation and applying it back to their personal life and their organization.
Here are some tips to help you create a spirit of VULNERABILITY in your coaching group:
– As the leader, be honest. Share your failures, your struggles, your victories and your mistakes. Don’t nurture the idea that you have it all together. You need to be real. We’ve all made epic mistakes. Use them to teach and encourage.
– Build trust by listening to each other, by sharing stories and by asking questions.
– Don’t judge each other based on your mistakes. Show grace. Be slow to react.
– Be safe: Keep the conversation to the group and ask permission to share with others if needed, but don’t break that trust!
– Realize that it takes some people a while to open up. Don’t force them and don’t make them feel guilty. Spend your energy building trust, and when they are ready to share honestly, they will.
While there are many benefits to a Coaching Group, one of the most important is to create a safe place for leaders to learn, share, listen and grow.
Make VULNERABILITY a part of your group!
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