It is not the good thing that happened, or the really bad thing, it is what you say to yourself about an event that makes the difference.

Self-talk is the most powerful tool in the leaders toolbox.  What he tells himself about something is the most important part of any event.

How self-talk works:

You need to imagine that you are two people living in one body, the one other people can see and the person they can’t see.  It could be like your inside person talking with your outside person.  These two people have a conversation.  It is called ‘self-talk”. They may ask each other questions like, “Did you see or hear that?”  “What do you think?”  “Why did they do that”, “Why did you say that?”, “Now what?”, “Why did that happen?”.
It’s a real conversation with yourself.  No, you are not crazy, you are allowing the Holy Spirit to guide you.  You are a wise, well equipped person, and, you possess the Holy Spirit who lives within you.  You will be amazed at the advice you give yourself guided by him.
1.      You can take charge of your own growth by listening to yourself when you use self-talk.
You make a mistake and fail to do something the way it needed to be done.  Others don’t notice, but you know. Or, you get praised for doing something when you know you could have done it better.  In your self-talk conversation with yourself, you figure out why you didn’t do it right, set some standards, and figure out how to make it right.

2.       You can help yourself understand through self-talk, that even though it looked bad, it was for the best.
Your friend tells you that he is planning on moving away and will no longer be working with you.  He has been with you from the start.  Who will do what he has been doing?  But, you tell yourself that God is in charge and isn’t surprised by this and He has a plan. Then, you begin to see skills in one of the new workers.  Your self-talk will make you more open to this change than you would have been before.

3.      You can use self-talk when you can’t share with anyone else.
Something happens that is so embarrassing or so hurtful that you just can’t talk with anyone.  Perhaps it was something bad that you did.  Self-talk with let you have that conversation with yourself, knowing that God is listening. That may bring you to the point of asking Him for help.

Self-talk is what you say to yourself about things that happen.  It is also a great start to a conversation with God.

Some of the things you might hear in your self-talk:  “It’s OK!”…”Relax”…”Be Patient”…”The Lord knows”…”Next time”…

Proverbs 11:14 “Where there is no guidance the people fall, but in abundance of counselors there is victory”   David said he was “guided with God’s counsel” Psalm 73:24


Dr. Ron Cline helps build the body of Christ around the world. His background as a pastor, educator, counselor, missionary and author gives him credibility and rapport with the many groups and individuals he and his wife, Barbara, minister to in various countries each year. After 7 years of pastoral ministry in Southern California, and ten years as the Dean at Azusa Pacific University, the Clines’ international service began in 1976 as a short-term opportunity when he agreed to pastor the English Fellowship Church in Quito, Ecuador for two years. Those two years stretched into six years. Following that he served as the president of HCJB World Radio, also in Ecuador, for 20 years. HCJB Global, now Reach Beyond, has media, health care, community and/or leadership development ministries in Latin America, Europe, Russia, North Africa/Middle East, Sub-Saharan Africa, and Asia Pacific. Ron and Barb currently serve as Global Ambassadors with Reach Beyond and live in Southern California after living 30 years abroad. They travel from Southern California throughout the world. For the last ten years they have been encouraging, coaching and working with leaders in Indonesia, Cambodia, China, Singapore, Malaysia, Nepal, Mongolia, India, Philippines, Thailand, Hong Kong, Solomon Islands, Western Samoa, Papua New Guinea, Tonga, Fiji, America Samoa, Australia, New Zealand, Central Asia, USA, Canada, Mexico, Cuba, Haiti, Ecuador, Russia, Malawi, Ivory Coast and South Africa.

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